Have you ever looked back at your life and realized how a certain attribute/ personality trait has caused you to act in a way that hasn't been pleasing to your authentic self?
Hear me out:
I’m always inspired by people who are completely true to themselves. In the sense that they are not afraid to say "no" to things that they don’t enjoy, or feel free to offer a difference of opinion and stand firm in it.
In these first few weeks of 2018 I have been able to sit and reflect on what I discovered in 2017, and I must say, although it was indeed a hard year, I've learned so much about who I am:
I’ve come to realize how timid I've been to stand firm in my truth. It’s always been a goal of mine to live authentically, but at times I find that I’m unsure of what that entails. Sometimes my truth is sparked by what I’m told is “right”, and no this is not in regards to the word of God, in fact that is one of the only things that has stood true through out this journey, but more so in regards to the word of man. At some point in my journey, I became silenced. Silenced by fear, silenced in order to protect, silenced by disappointment (or disappointing), not being accepted, liked, or respected. All in all I've realized how much of me has been lost in “people pleasing” and I don’t want to live like that anymore.
In 2018 I don’t want to have to carry the weight of others opinions, I don’t want to seek validation from anyone who GENUINELY doesn’t wish me well. I want to be ok with saying "no", and loving those who contend with my peace, from a distance. I want to stand firm in my "YES" and be confident in my decisions for me. I don’t want the fear of failure to continue to taint my drive for independence. I want to be ok with being misunderstood; to be confident in a room full of people and not feel anxious. To stand in a room of people I don’t understand and be bold enough to seek revelation on who they are. I don’t want to shrink back anymore, I don’t want to be a slave to my thoughts. I want to be free, truly free. Expressing myself in full sentences of my truth and understanding, and not ending every phrase with “I don’t know if that makes sense.” I want things to make sense to me. I want to understand who I am so I can be open to understanding others. Somewhere along the journey I taught myself that making others feel comfortable was more important than creating a safe place for myself and I don’t want to live like that anymore, and I won’t.
So with that being said, anyone want to have a conversation? I want to know more about you, who you are, and what makes you that way. Seriously, if you're reading this and want to chat, then hit me up!
Cheers to a fresh perspective!
Philippians 4:13 ESV
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.