Welcome to Transparency

More times than not these blogposts are birthed from life experiences and an overwhelming fear of being transparent. Yea, like most people I've been conditioned to think that sharing my inner most thoughts and feelings is completely taboo. Everytime I feel like expressing myself on this blog the enemy tells me that I should keep it to myself. He lists every person that may draw offense and describes every reason they may be offended. Sometimes it's the reason for the long breaks between posts. I become  afraid to share, because contrary to the popular rhetoric, I genuinely do care what people think.

Having lived on a small island since the age of eleven, where everyone knows everyone and we all "claim" to know something about someone  (or their Mama's Mama'sAunty's Cousin) its often a privilege to seek private moments and keep your business just that, your business. Although, there are many life experiences that I keep just for me, I know at my core, that through my honesty lives can be changed. 

Speaking my truth however isn't always as easy as I've liked it to be. In certain instances  I've been shunned for my transparency. Told that my honesty can deminish lives instead of revitalizing them. With a fear of leading people a stray, I spent many months in the wilderness; frustrated and afraid to express myself, in fear of doing a disservice to those watching. I've put ministries to the wayside  and silenced my voice for the good of those I made uncomfortable. However, I believe that God has given me a platform to speak my truth and share my experiences freely, through the journaling of my past, present, and future endeavors. Painting a transparent picture of the highs and the lows, letting the interweb know that I don't have it all together. I'm perfectly imperfect and I'm ok with that.

Growing, Christianity, careers, relationships and life overall subjects us to some very low moments but by having honest, transparent conversations about the good and the bad we can help each other grow gracefully.The truth is, I scream, I cry, I doubt, I fear, and I'm no stranger to a bad attitude. However,I believe my flaws shape my beauty and my experiences have sharpened my craft. I Journal my truth, and take ownership for my defeats and failures, because human error is inevitable but the Blood of the Lamb makes us whole.

So to my new followers, likers, lovers, and even those that see but aren't yet ready to commit, WELCOME! Welcome to My Journey, The Journey, Our Journey. We're in this together, and I pray my thoughts, and experiences help guide you to your next level of greatness. 

I love you,  

Thank you,  

Transparently yours,  

Helena. 

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