I've been in the U.K. for about five months now and it has been quite possibly one of the hardest challenges I've ever experienced. If you've read any of my previous posts, then you know that I've had my fair share of highs and lows. Everyday has presented itself with new challenges, from forcing myself to the gym to forcing myself out of a mental breakdown (slight exaggeration) however, I can say the plans of God have made it all worth it.
I moved to the U.K to continue my life long dream of becoming a successful professional actor, In my first month I signed to an agency, and hit the ground running with my first round of auditions. With some leading to short term success, but ultimately not reaching the intended goal. "You weren't needed" "You didn't get it" was becoming my full time reality. My conversations with God started to sound like "Oh, so you're just going to keep teasing me." " oh, so you brought me out here to play me?" ( and yes that's how I communicate with my father, I mean, how do you talk to your bestfriend? *shrug* ) In typical overwhelming fashion, discouragement met me and failure often plagued my thoughts and emotional well being. I often found myself striving to live up to the expectations of everyone else besides myself, and failing to meet their standards seemed to be more than I could live up to. Social media often had me feeling like I was left behind, that because I could not blast any new successes and could not prove that I had "made it" I was less than. I needed a break, a vacation, I needed to go home and luckily, home was on the agenda.
I was able to take sometime away and go back home to Bermuda to be a part of the union of two of my favorite people, Adrian and Mychel. Excuse me,*clears throat* Mr. and Mrs. Jones. "Graceland" (The name of their wedding) had been in the books since Adrian fulfilled Mychel's dreams and proposed to her in New York. I was so honored to be chosen to be a part of their wedding party and it couldn't have come at a better time.
I returned home excited and ready to help, and with rest and relaxation at the forefront of my days, wanting God to rejuvenate my spirit and purpose as I laid on the Bermuda pink sands revitalizing my melanin. However, In true Godly fashion, He took my plans, laughed at them and executed His own. I wasn't warned that weddings were equivalent to a full time job, and that bridesmaids were on the payroll lol. Needless to say, there was not much R&R in sight, every day brought a new task and there was always something that Graceland needed. Being the "all or nothing" person that I am, I had to see each task fulfilled, I wanted to see my friends happy and that became my priority.
I wasn't sure when I would have the time to pursue my plan, and pull myself away to hear Gods voice and His next direction for my life. I know I needed answers, I was obedient to His voice when I left to pursue my dreams and He didn't fulfill them in the way I expected. I had no major testimony to share, of how God had made me a major star on the London stage, my face could not be found on any commercial or magazine spread. Truthfully, I wanted sometime alone to reflect on my journey thus far and maybe to feel sorry for myself a bit, but Graceland was the priority and God had other plans.
There was no time to rest, relax or feel sorry for myself but God opened my eyes to so much more than that. His plan is always greater and I'm not quite sure why I question Him anymore, He always supplies me with more than I ask for. During this process I Watched the bride and groom perserver through circumstances designed for them to fail. When the enemy made it clear that he was chasing their heels, they never once allowed his attempts to trip them up or throw them off course, in fact the attacks made them stronger, and with each attack they became more bold. I never once saw them utter the thought of giving up, breaking down or caving into the pressures of the world, and that inspired me to measures I cant quite explain. Seeing them stop and make time for prayer, and finding opportunity to worship in some of the tightest time crunches blew my mind, their strength and agility was nothing short of amazing. Not only did it set a new standard for my relationship ideals but it also opened my eyes to the true meaning of faith and supplication. Due to their unwavering faith, God was able to supply each and every need, when orders mysteriously got cancelled God would rush order the items free of charge. After days of planning and things still falling through God would open a door that only He could take credit for. At times I would be drawn to tears at Gods mercy and ability to change their situation. Their unwavering faith allowed God to move every mountain, giant, and stumbling block designed to take them out. He proved Himself, time and time again because He is the master, and He had the final say. There is no task, and no plan He doesn't have control of.
Although my plans didn't go as intended, I can sit here knowing that the Masters plan was fulfilled in His way, which always supersedes anything I have in mind. As I sit here in my room back in London, I am at peace knowing that no matter what comes, or doesn't come, God has the final say and has the very best plan for my life. I trust that doors will open for me, I believe that my hearts desires will be fuffilled, and I understand that no matter what, The Masters Plan is enough.
Adrian and Mychel, Thank you for allowing me to be a part of not only your day but a part of your journey. You both inspire me and have shown me the true meaning of Christianity. I pray that your pursuit for Him separately, now begins to flourish together in your union. As you know, I live to be surrounded by genuine souls and genuine relationships and you both are a testament that they exist. I love you and am here whenever you need me, just give me a year to recovery from Graceland lol.
So here's to things not going as planned! To feeling great on the days that were supposed to bring you down. For spreading sunshine on the darkest days and for not allowing the expectations of the world to change the alignment of your God given destiny. Life is HARD, yes, and its so easy to give up when you seem to gain more failures than success, but every experience was set out to grow and strengthen you. If God isn't aligning your destiny in the way you expected, then chances are there's a greater plan in store. Nothing is in vain! Trust your journey and continue to live in your truth! No matter what anyone says, there is a purpose for you!